I will be honest – I didn’t have an idea for today’s post at all. So I started procrastinating. I was browsing the internet, you know, when you just get lost inside of your browser endlessly wandering around, especially when you have something else to do. So I dave in deep. And I when I say deep, I mean deep. Somewhere in the depths of the Reddit, I found myself in the place, that actually inspired today’s post.
It wasn’t a nice place. It was one of those very controversial, not at all positive places on the internet. I won’t disclose exactly where I went, because I’m not proud of littering my brain with that sort of content, but my curiosity won and I dave into the place where all the “nice guys” go frustrated with well… not getting laid for a while. Obviously, I didn’t contribute to the discussion – I won’t change their minds and I would only expose myself to internet drama.
Well, imagine my surprise when the boys (because they are not men, for sure) there started blaming non-other than women themselves for them not being impressed by the said boys. What? Yep, you heard me right – it’s mine – and all my fellow women fault for not being impressed with boys who come on too strong, are not that attractive and just overall being creepy.
So what’s the solution, they will propose to this inability to get laid according to them?
Change the laws and society rules – make women, that are in their eyes inferior beings to men, completely submissive and take away their rights. All because are unable to pick up a girl.
Oh, because that makes sense, right?
Um, no. It doesn’t and it never will.
At first I thought to myself – okay, they are just some wankers on internet, don’t worry about it. And as upsetting it was, I started thinking. No, their points were non-existent, but they all seemed to be so fixated on their own opinions, even though they were simply put disgusting. Isn’t this a such a natural human reaction to blame others for our own failures? Sometimes, we are genuinely so delusional to not see our own mistakes, because we are just so upset that we have failed. As much as those lost boys’ reddit whiny posts are pointless and wrong, as much our excuses for not taking everyday action are.
We all have this thing about us. Unless, we train and discipline ourselves kindly, we will always look for the change from the outside – not from the inside. If you want to change something – start with yourself. Stop expecting others to change for you. Stop expecting the world to stop and consider your feelings – you need to do it yourself. Consider your own feelings. Change yourself, to ultimately change the world and inspire others to similarly make that change.
Last week, I have written a lot about change in this personal post or this post in which I included few ideas how to build up the courage to finally go for it.
This week, I want to inspire you to actually find what it is that annoy you so much and instead of focusing on how you could reframe this problem into actual actionable “getting over yourself” scenario. I have prepared little worksheet for you if that’s what bothers you:
Promise yourself – that from today you will stop blaming others for your problems and stop whining and make that move already! Life of your dreams is waiting for you to get on board of the train to personal growth destination. It will require a bit of emotional maturity, but if I could do it, you can do it too. It’s hard at first, but then you realise how great it is to go through life without stepping in the dark. Without guessing. Being mindful and truly thinking.
See, I mean I turned this upsetting discovery from mentioned before group of sad boys who disrespected and devalued women in their eyes so much, they had to find a community of other rejected individuals to make them feel more powerful into this opportunity to learn something. I’m not making myself big – I just want to show you – everywhere you go and whoever you meet, even if it’s not a pleasurable experience, there is a place to learn something. And this is what I would define a part of emotional maturity. Not judging, more like learning. I mean – don’t get me wrong it’s healthy to have opinions, but we all have to remember that the opinions are only our own and are in no way what’s true to every single person. No matter how disgusted you are with other peoples opinions (and I am with a lot of them, trust me), you haven’t got the higher moral ground to tell them off. It’s their journey. Focus on yourself, your journey and people who actually want to change.
Hope you enjoyed todays post, I’m sorry if you found it a bit too personal or controversial, but I hope it was helpful to you, especially if you are idealist like me and would love for the world to be as idealistic as your dreams are.
Let me know when was the last time you have whined and if you have started reframing your problems instead of getting mad at the world? Let me know you thoughts and I always appreciate the feedback. It would also help me a lot if you could share this on your social media of your choice – if this post spoke to you in any way, shape or form.
Thanks for reading!