Hi! Today, I just want to touch on something really obvious, but really important to understand to get over a debt or financial problems. See, this is the thing – most of the people will squeal and squirm on your low self-esteem. They will hug you and cradle you in the hope that what they are doing is going to heal you. I won’t do that. Not today, at least. Now, I won’t be unnecessarily mean to you, don’t worry. But I’m a huge believer in being as honest as I can be. And whilst it might be not your fault, that you are screwed up, it is your responsibility to get yourself together. I can only speak for myself, so I will share my personal problem here, to illustrate how it works. You will ask – why? Because I believe this problem touches a lot of people as well.
The problem sometimes lies in being scared. Scared of thinking good things about ourselves and being confident in who we are because we are scared that it might turn out that really we are worthless and a failure. Which, in result means getting disillusioned and disappointed with positive thinking. It’s almost like we treat inner self-abuse as a safety blanket. I mean, there’s no sense of pride to lose if you are already thinking about yourself as the biggest loser and overall a poopy person. See what I mean?
Honestly, hand on heart this was one of my biggest problems I had to declutter from my brain. I was so scared to admit I am worthy and I am good enough to deserve what I am dreaming of because I was just worried that I get disappointed if I don’t get it. How terrible is that? That is exactly why I almost never before achieved what I set for myself.
I have spent endless hours and endless time in shitty situations with people that didn’t care about me because I thought I am the one that is a bad, worthless person so I don’t deserve someone to put me first. Who am I anyway? I’m just this average, imperfect person. That’s how I used to think.
So, because I told myself I am bad with money, I was bad with money indeed. Because I gave myself a permission to be poopy with money. I gave myself a permission to loose because I said to myself: It’s okay, I’m a loser anyway. I have let go of the responsibility for my life. And this is what I did to myself. This is what my OPINION of myself did to me.
So, I decided to take control and take full responsibility for my life. To grab this life by the balls and just get cracking. To start noting my expenses and income, to try to increase my income, to stop buying stupid shit, because I thought about myself: I’m not capable of keeping to a budget. Not true. I was always completely capable and you are too. It’s just that you told yourself that you aren’t.
Or somebody told you that and you just decided to believe it and don’t question it at all whatsoever. This is where the mistake is made.
That’s why you need to be kind to yourself and believe that you can do something even if you are not sure about the game plan yet. Because it can sabotage you in so many ways, you didn’t ever think it could.
And I relapsed into so many bad habits because I didn’t know about it. Because I couldn’t figure it out. Because once you get over all of it you find it so embarrassing that nobody even writes about it. Because the secret of it all is so juicy, some people will charge you just to tell you about what I just wrote here. It’s that simple.
And I think that’s the core problem most people are facing. They refuse to take responsibility because they think so badly of themselves and they desperately are looking for an excuse, instead of learning from a mistake and really take charge.
Your low self-esteem can hold you back from some amazing things. And you still would think that you are only protecting yourself. You are not protecting yourself, you are prohibiting yourself to live a normal, full, great life. You are hurting yourself.
That’s why you need to retain responsibility for your life.
You need to really get yourself to this place of being at peace with yourself – you need to be realistic, you need to know what you are good at and what you are bad at, but avoid saying to yourself ‘I’m rubbish at…’, try to change it into ‘I need to work on…’. This is the only way to self improvement, because saying that you are bad at something, sometimes your subconscious mind takes it as an excuse to fall back into all those toxic behaviours, but when you say to yourself, or decide for yourself that you are going to work to better something that you find yourself falling behind with – that’s a different story. By doing that you are giving your subconscious mind an instruction to try to find opportunities for you to work on it and only then you will find yourself being better at something, only when you DECIDE, that you will get better.
I know it sounds all easy but in practice, it’s one of the most difficult things to do. Honestly, it’s so difficult. Digging deep inside of you and trying to better yourself.
That’s why I want to be a life coach. To help people, who once were like me. And basically in our mind we already had hit the bottom. But we really didn’t, because remember: nobody is broken. You are not broken and by saying it to yourself you will set yourself back, you wont ever put a step forward. If you fancy a free coaching session, hit me up here.
So, it’s like everybody says – you need to acknowledge what’s wrong with you but you still need to do it in non-judgemental, positive, realistic way. Keeping the good vibrations. And it’s hard, I know, but it’s doable.
Take care of yourself! Till next time!